Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
