I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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