I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
