I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
