My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Your penis caused this!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
