Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
