i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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