What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
