idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
this hospital has no fireball
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
