then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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