So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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