I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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