if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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