She's JV to your varsity
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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