HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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