my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
