we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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