You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
