why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The uberlube is also flammable
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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