I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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