She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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