we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
