she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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