so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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