Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
