At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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