the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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