My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
