This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
