If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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