it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
