I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
