found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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