I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
