I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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