hell yes lets make some ravioli
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
