you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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