brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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