You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
