but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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