your parents love me but you hate me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
