And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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