Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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