we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
