There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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