I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
