We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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