Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
