ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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