My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
