you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
