She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
