did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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